


How To Hurt A Loved One

by AnonDude



Series: JayTim works [5]
Category: DCU, DCU (Comics)
Genre: Angst, Bottom Tim Drake, Break Up, Cheating, Drama, Dry Humping, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fights, Getting Together, Grinding, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Making Out, Switching, Top Jason Todd
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-04
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-03-15 05:41:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,068
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28558512
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnonDude/pseuds/AnonDude
Summary: Tim and Kon arethatcouple — they've been together for ages and everybody who knows them knows they'reTimandKon, a package deal. Tim has a horrible secret though: he's fallen out of love.He tried everything he could think of to make himself fall back in love with his best friend, but none of it worked. And just when he decided to stick it out anyway — because really, he loves Kon and he couldn't ask for a better partner — something awful happens. Timdoesstart to fall in love. With someone else.
Relationships: Tim Drake/Jason Todd, Tim Drake/Kon-El | Conner Kent
Series: JayTim works [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2024861
Comments: 10
Kudos: 95





	How To Hurt A Loved One

Tim smiled at Kon as Kon suggested they go out to dinner over the weekend for a romantic evening. "I'd love that," Tim said. 

He was _determined_ — he was going to be a good fucking boyfriend to Kon and love him as best he could, because it was what Kon deserved and Tim couldn't think of a better partner to spend his life with, even if he couldn't figure out how to fall back in love with him.

Who knew? Maybe, if Tim just kept at it long enough, the feelings would return. Maybe he'd be able to look at him over the breakfast table and feel his heart go soft and just think _God, I'm so in love with you_ again. Maybe he'd find himself actually _wanting_ to make out with Kon, to fuck him. Right now it just felt like another task, but he was doing his best not to let on that he wasn't so into it anymore. 

He didn't know when those feelings had started to disappear, it was too gradual for him to notice until one day he'd just realized that where those feelings should've been was all empty and it was far too late.

That didn't mean he hadn't _tried_. Tim had very much tried, flipping back through every good memory, reminding himself of every little reason he'd ever thought he'd loved Kon, trying to go on more dates with him and talking late into the night, but still all he felt was his regular love for his best friend, not _romantic_ love, not _attraction_.

So Tim had done a lot of reflection and come to the aforementioned conclusion that he should continue trying in the relationship anyway.

"I haven't gotten to see you dressed up in a while," Kon said. "I'm looking forward to it."

Tim's smile softened. "I'm eager to see _you_ cleaned up too, handsome." 

Kon gave him a quick kiss on the lips.

Tim could do this. He _could_.

===

Tim sat down on the edge of his now-regular rooftop downtown and dangled his legs over the edge. Jason traded him a burger for a coffee, as had become their habit when they met to exchange information.

Jason gave him a crooked smile. "Thanks, babybird."

Tim felt his heart speed a little — probably the coffee kicking in. "No problem. So what have the ladies heard this week?"

It didn't take too long for them to exchange information and finish their food and coffee. Just as Tim was getting ready to get up, however, Jason leaned over and pressed his fingers against the side of Tim's mask.

"Think the spirit gum's comin' off the corner there," he said.

Suddenly, Tim felt hot and flushed and he wasn't quite sure why. "Oh, um, I have some extra in my belt. Could you help me put it on? I can't see it…"

"Yeah, no problem." Jason held his hand out for the little bottle, and Tim set it in his hand.

Tim only felt more inexplicably flushed as Jason leaned forward again, tongue poking out of one corner of his mouth in concentration, and carefully painted on a bit of the adhesive, before screwing the cap back on the bottle and pressing the mask down again.

"There you go," Jason pressed the bottle into Tim's hand and leaned back, getting to his feet and holding out a hand to Tim to pull him up.

Tim tucked the spirit gum back into his utility belt and took his hand. "O-okay, um, bye, see you next week?" He stuttered, when he suddenly found himself standing very, very close to Jason.

Jason looked amused. "Bye."

Tim quickly grabbed his empty coffee cup and fled from the roof. God, had he accidentally gotten an espresso shot? His heart was going kind of fucking wild. That had to be the explanation for all the weird flushing too — blood circulating too much too fast everywhere or whatever.

===

Tim awoke from another dream with a gasp, and immediately looked over at Kon, feeling guilty. Oh god, oh god, this was like the fourth fucking night in a row he'd had dreams on the same unfortunate theme, and this one was by far the worst. 

They all started with the last night he'd met Jason on the roof, but when Jason reached for him, instead of touching his mask, he just...gently cradled Tim's face. The first night, the whole dream had just been that, just Jason cradling his face in his hands, stroking his thumb over his cheek, and giving him his usual crooked smile — except his eyes, his eyes were so, _so_ soft. 

That had freaked Tim out bad enough, but then, the next night, _then_ , dream-Jason had fucking kissed him. And Tim had maybe woken up wanting more before he'd guiltily remembered his boyfriend. Already, that felt like betraying Kon, but somehow, still, the dream he'd just woken up from was _worse_ : it had started the same as the others, but then Jason had climbed on top of him, straddling him and pushing him back against the rooftop, kissing him breathless. And now Tim was left wanting and shamefully turned on, and so, so fucking guilty.

Fuck, he couldn't believe— Jason? Was he really into _Jason?_ Maybe his subconscious was just latching onto someone else since he was trying to force his feelings for Kon so hard. But if that was the case, the person he should be having feelings for should be Stephanie or Bart, since those were the people he saw the most after Kon. So if it was Jason, it had to be specifically because it was _Jason_. Ugh. This was bad.

Well, there was nothing to do except keep trying his best to ignore it.

===

After about a month, Tim was doing the world's okayest job at ignoring all the dreams and his racing heart and the butterflies in his stomach whenever he met up with Jason. He was...technically managing. That could be said. That was about it.

He was really struggling, okay.

And now he and Jason were both undercover in the same club, because, what do you know, it turned out their current cases overlapped.

"I've got eyes on the front if you've got eyes on the back," Jason said in his ear as they danced together.

Tim tried to ignore the hyperactive butterflies in his stomach at having Jason so close, his hands warm on Tim's waist and his mouth brushing his ear. Tim nodded. "Got it."

Everything was going fine until one of the men Tim was watching for stepped out of the back, and started to survey the room for any watching eyes, and Tim panicked and did the only thing he could think of, which was pull Jason down into a kiss just as the man's eyes passed over them.

Jason tensed in surprise and then kissed back for a few moments before Tim pulled away, his heart hammering harder than ever and blood rushing in his ears. Holy shit, shit, _shit_ , he'd just actually fucking kissed Jason.

"What was that for?" Jason asked in his ear.

"Sorry! I panicked! Ricci came out of the back and started looking around to see if anybody was looking and I didn't want him to notice me, or see my face and potentially recognize me next time we're here."

Jason nodded and patted his waist in what Tim assumed was a silent 'It's okay'.

He almost wondered if Jason had forgotten about the kiss by the time they got back to Jason's place to go over the case, except, as soon as Jason flopped down on his couch and opened his laptop, he brought it up again.

"You better tell your boyfriend that kiss was your idea — I really don't want my face getting broken because you freaked out."

Tim hesitantly sat on the couch beside Jason. "I don't think I'll be telling Kon about that," he said quietly.

Jason's eyes flicked up to his. "You keep a lot of secrets from your boyfriend? Or is he just that jealous?"

"He's not. But I seem to be recently." Tim paused. He didn't have to tell Jason this, he didn't have to _do_ this, but...suddenly it just felt _inevitable_. He didn't know if Jason was into him too — he _had_ kissed back, but it was possible he just did that for the cover — or, even if he was, if he would be okay with this, but Tim suddenly felt, even stronger than all his guilt about Kon, that if he didn't at least try this now, he'd regret it for a long time. "I'm...not in love with him anymore," he admitted.

"Why are you telling me this?" Jason asked quietly.

Fuck. Tim was really doing this, wasn't he? No turning back now. "Because...there _is_ someone else I'm starting to develop feelings for. That kiss _was_ because I panicked, but...I wouldn't mind doing it again? I'd actually really like to do it again."

Jason blinked at him. "But you're not breaking up with your boyfriend?" He asked slowly.

Tim dropped his head and mopped a hand over his face. "I don't know how— I _can't_. I can't hurt him like that, it would break his heart, and he's my best friend and I do love him, just not like that, and I can't stand to hurt him that way. I know—" Tim buried his face in his hands, slumping forward, elbows resting on his knees. "I know it's so stupid because it's gonna hurt him no matter what in the end, I'm not stupid, I know this is all bound to come crumbling down eventually, but I just can't make myself hurt him on purpose to his face."

Jason was quiet for a moment. "For the record, you're totally right, this is gonna be a shitshow when it all comes down, but alright. I'll be your dirty little secret. Not like I've ever had a functional relationship anyway."

"Seriously?" Tim asked, looking up. "I'm such a mess."

Jason raised an eyebrow. "What do you want from me? First you were trying to convince me into it, now you're trying to convince me out of it. It's not that complicated — you're cute. If you weren't taken, I'd have totally made a move on you ages ago; I'm 100% down to bang."

" _Oh_." Tim felt himself flush.

Jason smirked. " _Oh_." He agreed teasingly. "So speaking of being down, are _you_ , or are you not the type to put out on the first date?"

Oh god, oh holy shit. He was going to get fucked by Jason. That thought sent such a warm thrill through his belly that he barely even registered his guilt anymore. "I'm down," he breathed.

"Oh good." Jason calmly set his laptop on the coffee table, and then suddenly he was on Tim, kissing him and pushing him back onto the couch.

Tim got both legs up on the couch so he was completely laid out, and Jason crawled forward over him and settled down straddling his hips with a little grinding motion. A small moan slipped out of Tim's mouth and he ground back up against him as his hand curled in Jason's hair, tugging his head back slightly to get a better angle as he kissed him desperately. 

Jason was kissing back just as fiercely, giving as good as he got, both hands on Tim's face. He sucked Tim's lower lip for a moment before releasing it and stroking his tongue over Tim's, grinding their cocks together again and reaching back to pull off his jacket, tossing it on the floor. "Oh fuck yeah," he broke away for a moment to pull his shirt over his head before going right back to kissing Tim, now continuously rolling his hips fluidly, and pushed his hands up under Tim's shirt, rucking it up over his chest. He slid his hands back down over Tim's chest and his abdomen, and then down to pop the button on his jeans before smoothing one hand back up and down his stomach, and bringing the other up to cup his cheek.

Tim reached down and undid Jason's jeans before sliding both hands down the back, under his underwear, to grab his ass, pulling him down harder against his cock. He let out a high moan and turned his head, Jason's lips streaking across his cheek, to catch his breath. Jason kissed over his throat as Tim panted, licking and scraping his teeth, sucking lightly.

" _Ahh!_ No marks," Tim gasped out.

"Mhm." Jason pressed an open mouthed kiss just behind his jaw.

" _Fuck_. C'mon, can't get come on my clothes, let's. Up. Naked," he panted. "Bed."

"That sounds like my kind of party," Jason said, sitting back and giving another hard grind of his hips.

"Mmh, _god yeah_ , fuck me."

Jason gave a slow grin. "Yeah? You want me to fuck you? Have you not been fucked properly in a while? Need me to give it to you good?"

"Yes. _Yes_. Just need someone to fuck me 'til I can't see straight." Tim squeezed his eyes shut. "He tries, but I'm just not into it anymore, it's not his fault."

"Do we need to use a condom? Because of...him?"

Tim shook his head. "As long as you don't have any STIs, no. I'm gonna have to take a shower anyway. He can smell... _everything_ otherwise."

"Okay." Jason sat for a second, slow realization coming over his features. "Did you ever think maybe cheating on the superpowered alien who could literally hear us at any time with his superhearing and fly here at supersonic speeds to beat my fucking ass was maybe the worst idea you've ever had?"

"You can still back out. You're right, we can take as many precautions as possible to keep this a secret for everything else, but there's nothing we can do about the superhearing if he decides to listen in at the wrong time."

Jason nodded grimly. "I'm so gonna get my ass beat at some point for this. But no, I'm still totally gonna fuck you; I've never been accused of being sane."

Tim laughed. "I feel like I should be flattered, but now I'm just kinda worried."

Jason got up off of him and held out his hand to pull him up. "Allow me to fuck it out of you, then."

By the end of the night, Tim could definitely say he'd accomplished that. God, Jason had fucked _everything_ out of him — every goddamn worry, every single _thought_ , and now he was just sprawled exhaustedly on the bed staring hazily up at the ceiling.

Jason flopped down beside him. "You okay, baby?"

" _Unhhhh_."

Jason rolled up on his side, propping his head up on his hand, and running his other hand gently up and down over Tim's stomach. "I don't know what that means, baby."

Tim managed to form one hand into a thumbs up and pick it up for a moment before letting it fall to the bed again.

Jason chuckled. "Good, huh? You're real fucked out, aren't you? Look at you, god, so sweet like this."

Tim just gave a small groan.

Jason scooted forward and curled around his side, resting his chin on Tim's shoulder and moving his hand up from his stomach to stroke through his hair. He stayed just like that, stroking Tim's hair and pressing soft little kisses to the side of his neck until Tim finally gave another groan and rolled up to face him.

"Hi," Jason said. "Welcome back to Earth."

"I haven't been fucked like that in...I've never been fucked like that."

"Don't flatter me. Your boy has super powers, he can definitely give you a good fuck, especially when the magic was still there."

"No, that's just it, he can't really go all out like that because he's afraid to hurt me. For him he has to constantly hold back, because one move too rough and I've got broken bones. It's not— he _does_ know what he's doing, it's just, it's never gonna be like _that_ , it can't be."

"Well damn. I can't say that's not an ego boost."

"Take it. You deserve it after that."

Jason caught his lips in a lingering kiss. "Mm yeah?"

Tim smiled and kissed him back. "Yeah."

They got lost in making out slowly until the sun rose through the window.

===

Tim came home in an exceptionally good mood.

Kon kissed him and frowned. "You smell...not like you."

Tim looked unbothered as he easily replied, "I ended up crashing at Jay's with how late we were working on that case, and he let me use his shower. His soap smells good, doesn't it?"

Kon tried not to let his frown deepen like it wanted to. Being jealous was ridiculous. "Yeah. I think I prefer you smelling like you though."

Tim just smiled and kissed him again. "I think I'm gonna go back to bed. I only caught a couple hours, that case had us up until late morning."

"Oh." Kon couldn't help being a little put out; he was feeling a little possessive now for...well he didn't really _know_ why, just something about Jason made him feel the need to lay claim on Tim. Which was stupid because he _had_ Tim, and Jason was a tentative brother figure at best and an attempted murderer at worst, so really there was far from anything to be jealous of. Sometimes Kon's emotions just went a little haywire, though.

He ran one hand over Tim's cheek and the other over his waist. "You couldn't be persuaded to stay awake a bit longer for us to pick up where we got interrupted yesterday?"

Tim gave a small, tired laugh. "Sorry Kon, not right now. When I wake up, okay? I don't wanna fall asleep on you," he joked, smiling, and pulled away, heading toward the bedroom.

Right. Kon could wait a few hours, that was perfectly reasonable, right?

Except that Tim only woke up with enough time to eat a quick dinner and then go straight out on patrol. And then back to _Jason's_ place to work on that case.

Kon tried not to be hurt, it wasn't a big deal really, it was just sex, just once. It was just that...well, they really hadn't been having sex much at all in the past month. And Tim had been seeming a little spaced out during sex for the past _few_ months whenever they _did_ manage to fuck. Part of him wanted to ask if there was something wrong, something wrong with _him_ , but Tim had been eager to spend time with him for the past few months — if not this last month so much. Maybe Tim was just tired. He _did_ overwork himself a lot.

===

Tim felt like he was flying fucking _high_ , doing this thing with Jason, even with all the guilt that tried to weigh him down. Kon didn't suspect a thing and was perfectly understanding about his case with Jason — the actual case which they had wrapped up weeks ago, but he didn't need to know that. As far as Kon knew, this was an underground trafficking ring that was just a very tough nut to crack. 

He had built up a bit of a tolerance over the weeks, so he wasn't a _complete_ useless mess for ages after Jason fucked him silly, but still if they were running short on time he insisted on topping because there was still a certain recovery period and he certainly wasn't at his sharpest for a good while after. Fuck, though, no matter _what_ way they did it, the sex was good, _so_ fucking good, and Jason had such a dirty fucking mouth but Tim loved it.

It wasn't just the sex though, Tim treasured their cuddles and occasional naps just as much, and their pillowtalk as they cuddled afterward ranged to all sorts of topics from cases to flirting to really personal conversations, and Tim was really truly fucking in love by this point. He knew this was all going to crash into a fiery mess at some point, but when he was with Jason, he couldn't help but feel like it was endless, like they could carry on like this forever.

They couldn't though, and the first thing to pop Tim's bubble came in the form of Bruce.

He had taken Tim aside after a meeting, looking at him very seriously, and said, "I hope you know what you're doing."

Tim had floundered for a moment because it sounded like— but surely he couldn't know? "What, with the case?" Tim had asked.

Bruce gave him a disappointed look. "Don't play innocent Tim, it's not flattering. With Kon and Jason. I don't like lying to Clark, so I hope you have a very good reason for putting me in this position."

Tim looked down at the floor. "I know, I'm horrible, but I can't break up with Kon, I just can't make myself hurt him like that, he's my best friend and he means so much to me and I don't want to break his heart. But I fell in love with Jason, I can't help it."

"And it's not going to break his heart when he finds out you've been cheating on him?"

"It is, I know it is, but...I know it's selfish, but at least that way it's out of my control and I don't have to stand there and make myself hurt him on purpose."

Bruce sighed. "This is...ill advised to say the least, but I don't think anything I say is going to convince you to just break up with him."

"I _can't_ ," Tim whispered.

Bruce sighed again, patted him on the shoulder, and left.

===

As stupid as he told himself it was, Kon was starting to get legitimately jealous of Jason, if only because of how much he was getting to see Tim when it felt like Kon barely got to see him at all these days.

He couldn't understand how this case had possibly dragged out for three months when Tim, at least, seemed to be working himself ragged, always coming home exhausted. Then again, Kon had heard of Batman working on certain cases for, like, six months or something. Kon really hoped this wasn't one of those cases, because Tim already had always had a problem with overworking himself, but lately he seemed to be taking it to a new level.

He'd really have to get Tim to just take a few days completely off from everything after this case with Jason was over so he could recuperate a bit.

Tim came in the door, pleasant and smiley as always nowadays, even if exhausted — happy to finally be home and see Kon, he had said before. Kon didn't know quite why, but that explanation had never sat quite right with him. But he brushed it aside.

"Hey babe. How'd it go?"

"Good! We found a new promising lead."

"Awesome! I think I'm gonna head back to bed with you, I didn't sleep great last night."

Tim's smile faltered, just a flicker, just for a millisecond, but Kon saw it. "Oh, okay." His smile widened as he got undressed. "You can keep me warm."

Kon stripped down to his boxers as well and climbed into bed, and Tim curled into his arms. Kon held him tightly and buried his nose in Tim's hair. He kind of hated how he'd just accepted the foreign smell of _Jason's_ bath products as Tim's new scent, but it was what he always smelled like for over three months now. Eventually, though, the stupid case would be over and he would get Tim back. His time and attention _and_ his normal scent.

===

When Tim woke up, he was still bundled tightly in Kon's arms and he had a moment of confusion when the body holding him didn't feel quite right, didn't smell like who he was expecting. Right. He was with his _actual_ boyfriend right now.

Kon awoke when Tim shifted, and made a small sound. "Morning, baby. Or...evening."

"Hi," Tim said, turning to face him and giving him a smile because that was what he was supposed to do.

Kon gave him a kiss, his hand running over Tim's waist and then over the curve of his ass, pulling him closer.

"We should get dinner," Tim said.

Kon's face turned very serious. "Baby. Is something wrong?"

"What? No. Why?"

"We haven't had sex in over a month…"

Shit.

Tim adopted his best concerned expression. "Oh, I didn't even notice, I guess I've just been so wrapped up in the case. Are you feeling neglected?" He ran his hand over Kon's chest.

God, he was going to have to fuck Kon. Why did he feel more guilty at the prospect of fucking Kon being unfair to Jason than he did fucking Jason, which was an actual complete betrayal of his _actual_ boyfriend?

It was wrong, but Tim knew he was going to have a hard time getting off with Kon and so he laid back and he thought of Jason. Jason and his low, raspy, spine-tingly voice.

 _So pretty for me, babybird_.

 _God, you feel so fucking good; can't get enough of you_.

Jason hit his prostate, and Tim moaned, his nails digging into Jason's broad back and his eyes squeezing even tighter shut.

_Fuck yeah, just like that, baby. You want me to make you scream? You want me to fuck you so hard you'll be walking funny for days? Want me to leave my mark on you just so you and I know, even when you play it off like you got injured on patrol, we both know what really happened. You wanna go home to your boyfriend knowing you can't sit right because of me?_

Tim whimpered. " _Yeah, Jay_."

Jason froze, and Tim, confused, opened his eyes. 

_Fuck_.

"Kon, wait."

Kon pulled back, ignoring him. "I can't believe I'm so fucking stupid."

"Kon, no." Tim's eyes were big and sympathetic, which kind of hurt Kon more.

He held up his hand, closing his eyes. "Shut up. Just shut up." He pulled out and got off the bed, quickly starting to get dressed, and Tim just laid there, watching him. "God, you were actually fucking him this whole time, weren't you? How did I not see that? It's been months, hasn't it? Since you started pulling away — _fuck_ , of _course_ you were fucking tired all the time, you never fucking _slept_ at his place. I can't believe I was actually fucking worried about you overworking yourself on that case when the case wasn't even real, was it?" He was yelling now. "It was just an excuse to fuck him, wasn't it? I can't believe I really told myself I was being ridiculous and jealous for no reason, because I _trusted you_." He emphasised the last part, whirling back on Tim and staring him in the face.

"I just didn't want to hurt you," Tim whispered, sitting up looking broken-hearted. How ironic, considering _he_ was the one breaking hearts right now.

"That's a funny fucking way of not hurting someone!" Kon burst out. "Because I can tell you it fucking hurts a _lot!_ "

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," Tim said, curling in on himself and putting his hands over his face. "I love you, I love you so much, I just fell out of love with you and I didn't— I couldn't just break your heart like that."

"So why did you have to fucking cheat on me?! You couldn't at least stay faithful until our relationship fucking fizzled out?"

"I _was_ , I didn't mean to, but I fell in love with Jay and I just couldn't stay away. I really didn't mean to, it's just, it was so…"

Kon held up his hand again. "I really don't want to hear about how awesome the guy you cheated on me with is. What I'm hearing is that you're just a fucking coward and 'not wanting to hurt me'," he held up air quotes, "is just a shitty fucking excuse because you knew damn well that cheating would hurt me worse, you were just okay with that one because you got to hide from the consequences as long as you could keep it from me."

"That's fair," Tim said quietly.

"I'm coming back to get my shit tomorrow. You better not be here."

Kon turned on his heel and walked out of the bedroom, and a few seconds later, Tim heard the front door slam shut.

" _Fuck_ ," he whispered to himself. And then again, " _Fuck_."

After a few minutes of staring blankly at his knees, he got up and fished his phone out of his jeans pocket, and dialed Jason before he even processed what he was doing.

"Hello?" Jason's groggy voice answered. He must've just woken up.

Tim didn't realize he was crying until he tried to talk. "Hi," he got out tearily.

"Baby, what's wrong?" Jason sounded much more awake now.

"Kon found out."

" _Oh, baby_ ," Jason said quietly.

Tim just cried for a few minutes and Jason just stayed on the line with him and waited him out. "I really fucked this up, didn't I?"

"You had good intentions, baby. I know you didn't mean to hurt him."

"I hurt him so fucking bad. I don't even know— I think I just lost my best friend." He wiped at his tears, but they just continued to pour down his cheeks thickly. "Why am I like this? God, I'm such a horrible fucking person, let alone _friend_ — fucking forget _boyfriend_."

"No, baby, _no_. You're not a bad person, you just made some bad choices."

"I _am_. All I had to fucking do was _not cheat_ , but I couldn't fucking control myself because I apparently have the decision making skills of a fucking toddler."

Jason sighed. "Do you want me to come over? You sound like you need a hug."

Tim shook his head even though Jason couldn't see it. "I do. I'll come to you. Can I stay the day tomorrow? He said he's," he sniffled, "coming back for his stuff tomorrow and not to be here."

"Of course, baby. You want me to stay on the phone with you until you get here?"

Tim sniffled again. "Yeah."

===

Things were awkward, to say the least, the next time he and Kon had to work together for vigilante business. Kon avoided him as much as possible, and was incredibly cold when they did absolutely have to communicate.

"Are you and Kon...fighting?" Bart hesitantly asked, after everything was over. "Do you guys even...I've never seen you fight like this."

Tim just blinked at him in surprise. He'd assumed Kon would've gone straight to Bart, and now Tim was seriously wondering who he _did_ go to, if not to Bart. But he supposed that really wasn't his business anymore.

Kon swooped over. "We broke up," he said curtly, apparently having been listening in to the conversation with his superhearing.

" _What?!_ " Bart looked between them in shock.

Tim nodded.

"What, but you guys are like, but you're like that forever couple," Bart said, sounding lost.

"No. We're not." Kon said firmly. " _Are_ we, Rob?" He added snidely.

Tim supposed he deserved that. "We're not. Sorry," he said quietly, apologizing a bit to Kon and a bit to Bart for popping his reality bubble.

"Oh yeah, _real_ sorry," Kon said. "You forget about my fucking hearing. I was listening, I know who you called when I left, I know where you went, I know what you _did_."

"What do you want from me, Kon?" Tim burst out. "Of course I did, what else were you expecting? But if you were fucking listening then you know how much I meant it when I said I didn't want to hurt you! As backwards as that sounds — and I know it does — I just didn't want to fucking hurt you."

"No, you _knew_ you were gonna fucking hurt me no matter how things played out; you just didn't want to actually have to get up close and personal and take responsibility for it because you're a fucking coward!"

"I know!" Tim screamed. "You think I don't know I'm a fucking coward?! I am and I'm _sorry_ , I'm so fucking sorry, and I know that's never going to be enough, but that's all I can say. What else do you want me to do?"

"I want you to have never fucking done it! I wan't you to have just _not_ fucking done anything — how hard could that have fucking been? I want you to be a decent fucking human being, like I thought you were. I want you to never fucking forgive yourself for being such a piece of shit. And most of all, I want the same damn thing to happen to you so you know what it fucking feels like."

"I'm sorry. I know. I _know_." It came out quiet, barely more than a whisper.

"I don't think you _do_. Not when you've got a bird in your ear telling you anything to make _you_ feel better, like _you_ deserve it. Telling you it was just a _mistake_. Like it wasn't a planned, conscious decision that you continued to make for three _fucking_ months."

"Nobody said _mistake_. He just said my bad decisions didn't make me a bad _person_ , but it doesn't fucking matter because I don't agree! I know I'm a piece of shit! I'm not forgiving myself, Kon!"

Kon leaned forward, narrowing his eyes. "Never get complacent."

Tim looked down at the ground. "I won't."

There was a whoosh as Kon flew off.

"Wow. Um. I missed a lot," Bart said.

Tim put a hand over his face. "I thought he would go to you. I have no idea who he's talked to about it, if anyone. He has to have gone _somewhere_ though, because he left our place and took his shit."

"Oh. Do... _you_ wanna talk about it?"

Tim sighed. "I'd really like to put off you knowing what a piece of shit I am as long as possible."

Bart looked disbelieving. "Was it really _that_ bad?"

Tim cringed. "It was."

===

They had all just finished a meeting in the Batcave, when Dick turned to Tim. "Are you and Jay...seeing each other?"

Everybody turned to look, clearly listening in on the conversation. Cool. Not awkward at all.

Tim didn't bother to ask how he'd found out. They'd stopped trying to hide it and the whole family _were_ detectives.

"Yes." He didn't elaborate.

"Huh. When did that happen?"

"Uh...like a week ago," Tim hastily lied, at the same time Jason, looking at something on his phone, distractedly said, "Almost four months ago now."

Tim squeezed his eyes shut. " _Jay!_ "

"What?" He asked in the same distracted voice. And then, after a second, "Oh. _Oh_. Uh…"

" _Four months ago?_ " When Tim opened his eyes, Dick was staring at him incredulously. "Didn't you and Kon only break up like two weeks ago?"

Tim gave an angry sigh. "Yes. _Yes_ , okay? I get it, I'm a horrible person, I fucking know, I'm not going to forget anytime soon!" He pushed away from the table and stalked away across the Cave toward his motorcycle.

Jason followed after him. "Sorry, baby, I wasn't thinking."

Tim gave another sigh, this one just tired. "It's whatever. Can't undo it."

"Well I guess now we know why they broke up," he heard from across the Cave. Awesome. They were all going to gossip about him now. And Tim had no one to blame but himself.

===

After the next uncomfortable team up involving Kon, Tim saw Jason in his Red Hood uniform waiting by his motorcycle just outside the disaster zone, presumably to check on him. Before Tim could reach him, however, there was a sudden high speed wind past Tim as Kon flew straight over to Jason and punched him right in the face, shattering his Red Hood helmet, the pieces falling to the ground uselessly, and knocking him on his ass.

"Jesus— are you okay?" Tim rushed over to him.

Kon gave an incredulous scoff. "Unbelievable."

"I'm allowed to be concerned for his wellbeing, Kon!" Tim yelled. "I wish you'd take your fucking problems with this situation up with me instead of him, it's not his fault!"

"Oh, so he didn't make his own damn decisions, fully aware of the situation? He had absolutely no free will? I _know_ he knew, _everybody_ fucking knew!"

Tim clenched his jaw. "It's still mostly on me. And I'm sorry, you _know_ I'm sorry, and I know that doesn't even begin to make up for it, but there's nothing else I can do."

"Well it's just your fucking luck that I'm still furious at you too! What, are you asking for a punch too? Because I think it would be easier for everybody if I kept reigning in my impulse to break your fucking face every time I see it, considering I _have_ to see it so goddamn often! Or would you just like to keep a reconstructive surgeon on speed dial?"

Tim closed his eyes. "No. I'm sorry." He kneeled, turning away from Kon, and gently began to help Jason (who had now managed to sit himself up) pull the little shattered pieces of his helmet out of his face.

"Unbelievable," Kon said again, and there was a whoosh as he flew off at high speed.

"What just happened?" Bart asked. "And I mean, not that I'm pro that, but aren't you… _you?_ Aren't you gonna try to fight him back?" He directed the last part at Jason.

"No," Jason said, wincing as Tim pulled a particularly deep piece of the helmet out. "I totally deserved that. I suppose I should just be thankful the domino protected my eyes and that he reigned in his super strength and didn't, like, actually turn all of my bones to dust."

"He still shouldn't have hit you," Tim grumbled.

"Baby, did you seriously not see that coming? I just got tired of looking over my shoulder, so I showed up here so he could get it out of his system. Or, _hopefully_ it's out of his system and it's not still on sight."

Tim sighed. "Of course you showed up to willingly get your ass beat by someone with super strength. Fucking idiot."

Bart was still staring. "Wait, back up, _baby?_ Rob...you didn't do what I think you did, did you?"

Tim grimaced. "I'm a bad person, I get it, I don't wanna talk about it."

"Nah baby, you're just kind of a coward and afraid of confrontation," Jason said.

"Thanks for that," Tim bit out sarcastically. He pulled the last piece of helmet that was big enough to grab out and brushed off Jason's face. "This is going to sting," he said, pulling an alcohol wipe out of his utility belt.

"Oh, not the face," Jason protested, but Tim was already wiping over it and the dozens of scrapes, scratches, and gouges. "Mother _fucker_." He scrunched up his face tightly.

"Big baby," Tim said, tucking the dirty wipe into an empty compartment in his belt.

" _You_ try having your helmet shattered against your face and the pieces literally punched _into_ it, and then having your shitass unsympathetic boyfriend rub alcohol in the wounds like a _sadist_."

Tim laughed. "Your shitass unsympathetic boyfriend is very sorry, but it's for your own good. Unless you _want_ an infection."

"'D prob'ly hurt less," Jason muttered.

Tim rolled his eyes. "God, aren't you supposed to be tough? You've had way worse, you'll live."

Jason grinned. "Oh yeah, you could say I've had worse. I've _died_ , so I'd say that was a fair bit worse."

Tim stood up. "Oh my god, I'm leaving. We get it, you died once and you're gonna bring it up for eternity."

"Wait, no, don't leave without me! My zombie jokes are part of my appeal!" Jason managed to get to his feet and swayed. "Oh shit, I think I might have a concussion."

"Fucking hell." Tim stopped in his tracks and turned right back around. "Of course you do, you got clocked by a guy with super strength, why didn't I see that coming?" He came over and pulled up each of Jason's eyelids with his thumb in turn, looking into his eyes. "Yeah your pupils are dilated."

"Maybe that's just 'cause I'm lookin' at you."

Tim gave him an annoyed look. "You're not as smooth as you think you are. Especially when you _have a fucking concussion_. You're not driving. I'll come back for my bike later, come on, I'm taking you home on yours, give me your keys."

Jason took them out, but then held them up out of reach. "There's a toll."

" _What?_ No. I don't negotiate for hostages."

"One kiss?"

Tim narrowed his eyes. "I don't negotiate for hostages," he repeated flatly and held his hand out.

"Just a tiny kiss?"

Tim stared him down, hand held out sternly, waiting for the keys.

After a minute, Jason heaved a very dramatic sigh and gave him the keys.

Tim snatched them up. "Thank you," he said briskly, and leaned up on his toes to give him a quick peck on the lips. "Come on, let's get you home." He tugged Jason's wrist, pulling him to the motorcycle and swinging his leg over. 

Jason had a ridiculously big smile on his face as he got on behind Tim and wrapped his arms around him.

As they drove off, Bart continued to watch after them. They had seemed so in their own little world, like he wasn't even there. Huh.

He certainly didn't approve of Tim cheating, and he would need to go find Kon and check on him, but he was...kinda glad at least one of them seemed happy? And it would kind of be even shittier if Tim had thrown away everything with Kon for nothing. Tim and Jason seemed to have an ease with each other that rivalled the way Tim and Kon used to be with each other, and hopefully that meant there really was something good there.

He guessed only time would tell.


End file.
